Why We Are Always Unhappy

The nature of happiness is such that if you aim for it 10 times out of 10, you might get it twice. Or not at all.


There is a paragraph in the book A Cynic Guide To Wisdom & Contentment that goes like this: 
"Whether you do “good” or “evil” is important... however, what is more important is whether you continue to do whatever you are doing, even when the consequence of your action differs from your expected outcome."
Humans instinctively seek situations that give happy returns, while they tend to avoid uncomfortable events. Some of us believe we'll be happy if we just follow our dreams or get our dream house. While some of us are convinced our happiness is linked with listening to and obeying people we respect, even God. There are few people somewhere who even think that fulfilling spiritual disciplines like praying, giving to the poor, meditation, reading the Scriptures, etc., will make them the happiest people on earth.

 The problem is, when these actions do not have the effect we want, we slide further into unhappiness. Worse still, if we are unable to commit to or obey these rules we have set for ourselves (or somebody set for us), we become depressed and almost inconsolable.

 The instinct of trying to do what makes us happy has always gotten humans into trouble since the dawn of time. Martin Theilen, the author of Searching for Happiness, made an astute disclaimer in his book's preface. He writes: "...it's important to clarify that happiness is not the ultimate goal of Christianity. It does not rate up there with... justice, the Great Commandment, or the advancement of the kingdom of God."

 Happiness is a product of doing things. However, the irony here is that if we focus on the things that are supposed to make us happy, there are no guarantees they will bring happiness. The nature of happiness is such that if you aim for it 10 times out of 10, you might get it twice. Or not at all.

What about if we start by not giving a care for our own happiness. It sounds counter-intuitive, but the few happy people I have seen seem not to care not for tomorrow or for the worries that keeps normal people like me awake at night. If disaster strikes, they are fine because they know it won't last. If good fortune comes, it makes no difference since they know that never lasts either. They seem to fully grasp the concept that circumstance is a poor purveyor of happiness.They also understand how fragile and short human life is.

 Like Tim Keller said in one of his sermons titled The Search For Happiness, “The person who is happy is always the one who has stopped trying so hard to be happy.”

 @ Photo used is "Contemplando" by Agustín Ruiz and made available under a CC BY 4.0 license.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Radical: My Year with a Socialist Senator by Sofia Warren - Book Recommendation

Image
Books that discuss politics can be boring to some, but such people might want to make an exception for this one. Radical: My Year with a Socialist Senator is a first-hand witness account of a cartoonist's time with Julia Salazar, a 27-year-old democratic socialist running for state senate in New York. Most of what the book material is about are what the cartoonist witnessed during the first year of Salazar's term by embedding herself with the young senator's team for about a year. WHAT I LIKE ABOUT THE BOOK One of the best tools of journalism is witnessing a situation about which you are reporting first-hand. This way, you get to understand your subject with little or no filtering. Radical is a book with lots of eye-opening information on politics, money, and how these forces have an impact on everyone's lives... more than we know or care to admit. DISLIKES None. WHO IS IT FOR This is for any adult who wants to understand politics without getting bored. Many ...
Read more

Sounds Like Misophonia by Dr. Jane Gregory & Adeel Ahmad - Book Recommendation

Image
  Sounds Like Misophonia is an in-depth exploration of Misophonia, a rare condition characterized by an abnormal sensitivity to certain noises. It seeks to illustrate the far-reaching impacts of the disorder, detailing how it affects the lives of those who suffer from it. The author also provides a helpful guide on how to cope with this condition and maintain a healthy lifestyle despite its presence. WHAT I LIKE ABOUT THIS BOOK This book is a must-read for anyone struggling with Misophonia, as well as those who have family or friends affected by the condition. It offers a clear and concise breakdown of the symptoms and effects of this disorder, and offers strategies on how to live with it without sacrificing well-being. DISLIKES Nothing. WHO IS IT FOR? This is for anyone suffering from Misophonia. It can also prove helpful to those who have loved ones who are always irritable around certain sounds. Many thanks to Bloomsbury Publishing Plc for providing a review copy.
Read more

Lies My Teacher Taught Me (A Graphic Adaptation) by James W. Loewen, Nate Powell - Book Recommendation

Image
  While the title may be misleading, "Lies My Teacher Told Me" strives to address numerous historical inaccuracies commonly taught in American schools. The book sheds light on the negligence of publishers in critically examining historical facts and figures while often prioritizing national pride and jingoism. The book challenges accepted mistruths about Columbus's role in American history and reveals lesser-known aspects of Helen Keller's life (aspects that are conveniently brushed aside as they do not fit into an established hero origin story). WHAT I APPRECIATE ABOUT THIS BOOK This book is a valuable guide for instructing students about the perils of unquestioningly believing everything they read. It emphasizes the significance of research and self-examination in the realm of history. It encourages readers to approach history with a critical mindset. DISLIKES None. TARGET AUDIENCE This is recommended for adults and young adults who have a passion for kn...
Read more